Finding My North – Inspired By Martha Beck

me¹
/miː/
pronoun 

used by a speaker to refer to himself or herself as the object of a verb or preposition.”do you understand me?”

To describe what makes me “me” in three words. Its Difficult huh? I have enrolled the help of my nearest and dearest and you’ll be pleased to know there was a majority vote, with the top one being a Wino (agreed but potentially thats a bad habit rather than a personality trait….I hope) 

LOYAL – I am fiercely loyal. Once you’re in, you’re in. A huge compliment from my besties is that this featured on their lists too, even if wino was the top vote. Its so hard in such a transient world to remain close to those you love. Whether thats in terms of physical distance or emotionally stretched periods of time. I have lived in so many counties (Not exotically well travelled by countries sadly – we only stayed in the currently wet and windy UK borders), and lost count of how many houses I’ve lived in!

My nomadic lifestyle has seen me go to a total of 9 different schools, eventually settling down back up norf’. I believe this nomadic lifestyle had a hugely positive impact on my early years by encouraging me to at least try to make friends with new people, even if it isn’t a trait I carried through all that well in to my adult life. As a firm believer of the fact that just because our ovaries worked at the same time, doesn’t mean we are automatically bussom buddies. I am blessed to already have a few of those, which didnt require similarly timed womb evictions. That’s not to say, those clever coinciding baby-growing besties I have picked up along the way are loved any less, its just our friendship is not based purely on our procreating schedules. 

Beeeeee HAPPY (if you know, you know) I use to write this on every note, book cover, boy love letter and anywhere else I could find to scribe it. I absolutely love being happy. It is somewhat strained these days, that lil ol’ thing called life keeps getting in the way and pissing on my chips. But for the mainstay, I would love to say, I am happy. My childrenare my biggest blessing. Its not been an easy road to get through the last 3 (cough) decades, in fact the last 2 have been particularly turbulent. I know the expression is “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” but Universe take note, I am putting this out there for all to hear “I am strong enough already” I’m practically bionic to be honest. I think I’m half metal these days… and not just my cold, cold heart…

BONKERS – as in an absolute, stark raving, nutter. Aliceherself couldn’t put it any better

Have I gone mad? I’m afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usually are.

Lewis Carroll

There are so many tales I’m sure you will eventually hear, most of them true, but all of them will leave you thinking:

That really could only happen to you!

 

 myself

/mʌɪˈsɛlf,mɪˈsɛlf/
pronoun

1. 1.
used by a speaker to refer to himself or herself as the object of a verb or preposition when he or she is the subject of the clause.”I hurt myself by accident”

2. 2.
I or me personally (used to emphasize the speaker).”I myself am unsure how this problem should be handled”

 

To look inwardly at myself I will for a second, unashamedly use some of the other words sent through. Brave – I always dismiss this, as I’m sure many other fighters do “I’m not brave, I was put in an impossible position. You would have done the same” Looking back, that was quite a mature response for a 20 year old to come back with having just found out her sore arm was actually cancer. But I wasn’t brave, I was held up by a support network greater than any other I can name. Its those people, those people who are brave. The ones that picked up the many pieces, the ones that came for sleepovers instead of parties so I didn’t miss out on the fun. The ones that pick up/drop off/love unconditionally myself and my children. The drop of a hat, “shits kicked off again” that would have sent anyone else running. You my friends are brave, and I will forever love and thank you for standing by and loving my(ever-so-ditsy)self.

I, myself, am a very sensitive soul. I have been known to check multiple times a DAY to ensure I haven’t done anything to upset you, reassurance for me in the early days (and even now!) is key. I quite literally will lose sleep over the prospect of any potential offence, even something I may have caused in 1997 when I forgot to thank a stranger for holding the door open…. But whilst this over sensitive soul has been useful in some ways, it is not utilised as much as it once was. There are only so many thirsty protagonists that start at 9pm one Mama can deal with..


/ʌɪ/
noun

noun: I; plural noun: I’s; plural noun: Is; noun: i; plural noun: is
1. 1.
the ninth letter of the alphabet.

I quite like the idea of being the ninth letter of the alphabet……

The following list has been compiled from the three words my awesome besties added in – I can’t recommend enough trying to find your North. Its got warm and fuzzy written all over it.

Indeed I do have Simply The Best friends and family in the world. So theres a little about me, myself and I. What about you, where’s your North? Have a peep at Martha Becksguide to discovering it, it really is genius.

I hope to meet you there 💖

1 Comment
  1. VIPMums: Netty 3 weeks ago

    Hi ya I am a bit confused, is this blog a caption taken from Martha Becks book, at first I thought it was your intro and then the post has leads to purchase her book!
    This is fine, I just needed to understand who and what I was sharing!
    Between me and you, LOL are you Martha?

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